tear_stained_memories's Xanga

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Sun, 25 Sep 2005 01:03:10 GMT

i guess its time to update....

im still living

who would have thought....

considering everything thats going on.

i might delete this page soon....dont know yet....possibly....depends

</3

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 21:00:05 GMT

that about sums it up

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 15:00:08 GMT

Hey Jesus,
are u still on the cross?
or are u feelin better?
Hey Jesus,
will u come play with me,
im ready and willing.
wont u come down, down, down.
down to the ground.
to the next to me place,
with a smile on my face.
and a song in my ear.

around, and around and around
and around, and around we go.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Mon, 20 Jun 2005 00:11:14 GMT

this weekend was one of the greatest times of my life....i have never felt the presence of God so deep in my life i have never felt God being so close to me. this conference was one of the best things that has happened to me. the youth group has been completely changed and everyone has was so full of the power of God.

most people would prolly think that we're crazy and that certain things that happened this weekend are very abnormal but i loved every min of it. there were people jumping...shaking....screaming....laughing......crying

everything

God really showed up and showed his love

his fire came down

and i wanna go back

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Wed, 15 Jun 2005 01:05:34 GMT

heres a little something i thought was really cool...dont think its true for me but hey....i ll let you guys read it

i will italicize...(sp?) the ones that I really like...its pretty many...to warn you

You are Everything To Somebody
Right now at this very minute

1 Someone is very proud of you

2 Someone is thinking of you

3 Someone cares about you

4 Someone misses you

5 Someone wants to talk to you

6 Someone wants to be with you

7 Someone hopes you aren't in trouble

8 Someone is thankful for the support you have provided

9 Someone wants to hold your hand

10 Someone hopes everything turns out all right

11 Someone wants you to be happy

12 Someone wants you to find them

13 Someone is celebrating your successes

14 Someone wants to give you a gift

15 Someone thinks you ARE a gift

16 Someone hopes you are not too cold, or too hot

17 Someone wants to hug you

18 Someone loves you

19 Someone wants to lavish you with small gifts

20 Someone admires your strength

21 Someone is thinking of you and smiling

22 Someone wants to be your shoulder to cry on

23 Someone wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun

24 Someone thinks the world of you

25 Someone wants to protect you

26 Someone would do anything for you

27 Someone wants to be forgiven

28 Someone is grateful for your forgiveness

29 Someone wants to laugh with you about old times

30 Someone remembers you and wishes you were there

31 Someone needs to know that your love is unconditional

32 Someone values your advice

33 Someone wants to tell you how much they care

34 Someone wants to stay up watching old movies with you

35 Someone wants to share their dreams with you

36 Someone wants to hold you in their arms

37 Someone wants YOU to hold them in your arms

38 Someone treasures your spirit

39 Someone wishes they could STOP time because of you

40 Someone can't wait to see you

41 Someone wishes that things didn't have to change

42 Someone loves you for who you are

43 Someone loves the way you make them feel

44 Someone wants to be with you

45 Someone hears a song that reminds them of you

46 Someone wants you to know they are there for you

47 Someone is glad that you're their friend

48 Someone wants to be your friend

49 Someone stayed up all night thinking about you

50 Someone is alive because of you

51 Someone is wishing that you would notice them

52 Someone wants to get to know you better

53 Someone believes that you are their soul mate

54 Someone wants to be near you

55 Someone misses your guidance and advice

56 Someone values your guidance and advice

57 Someone has faith in you

58 Someone trusts you

59 Someone needs you to send them this letter

60 Someone needs your support

61 Someone needs you to have faith in them

62 Someone needs you to let them be your friend

63 Someone will cry when they read this

if you are a certian someone in this....like if one/or more of these fit you....tell me which numbers....please....so i know....

i wont be around until sunday....i ll be on AIM tomorrow prolly off and on cause of packing and everything but yeah. i ll miss you all!!!

im sorry.....i truly am......please forgive me.....

my cell WILL be on..you can call i just might not be able to answer right aways but trust me...call if you need anything....or just to talk..i gladly will!!!

~*rach*~

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 19:26:09 GMT

i cant believe it....for once i think i might be...happy...........this cant be happening

it just cant be

its too weird

impossible

lord...please dont let anything go wrong...not now........

Friday, June 10, 2005

Fri, 10 Jun 2005 19:13:48 GMT

well i guess its time to updated this thing and update you on my wonderfully boring life....which lately hasnt been all that boring but still...it could use a little more excitment then what it has been recieveing lately.

got together with hannah and katie last night....got some cool pictures taken around her place...they dont look the greatest...well of me that is...but hey...if you want to check them out go to hannahs new page justxanotherxname and check it out!! some of them are pretty funny...well at the point and time when they were taken....we thought it was funny.

got together with steph last night too...slept over...didnt get to bed till like 4 this morning and we were online chatting till like 2:30.....one thing....i wouldnt advice you do when you are tired....do not chat...it CAN get creepy and just.....odd...to say the least.

*sigh*

i know i have been saying this for some time now...but i need something new in my life...i need a change...i dont know what but i need something really drastic to happen....anyone have any ideas?? if so....can i have a few!?

and i also need music for this page..i want something good...i ve been trying to find the likn to an Emery song but i cant find the song i want....grrr makes me mad....and sad...didnt mean to rhyme there...sorry hehehe so if anyone knows where i can find a link to the song The Secret by Emery...i would LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!!!

well anyways, i need to buckle down and look for a job and work on my driving....i need to get craking....and i need to do someother things in my life...i need to push harder...or things wont get done...so far....stress is managable...but getting close to not being....*sigh*

im out all

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 00:53:51 GMT

i wish i could go back in time......and do things over again....

not act certain ways.......

choose to do things that i chose not to do

love more

live more

feel

be myself

get people back in my life

erase the pains i felt

take back the pain i caused

just redue everything

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 19:50:43 GMT

i guess i ll update this thing....not many people read the darn thing so i really wouldnt know why i would but eh....i have nothing else better to do so why not?

right?

summer vacation has finally started and all i ve been doing all day is....cleaning...just wonderful cleaning...but it needs to get done one way or another and no one else in this darn house is going to do it so...and if i dont do it or do something around the house..i ll get freaked out on...mom always yells..."you were home all day and did nothing!?!?!?!?" so yeah i saved myself the yelling and torment.....for now

anyways, hopefully i ll be getting a job soon..have to go get some applications and what not and then hopefully and interveiw will occur.

also......i better be getting my licence soon...AND A CAR...its driving me nuts...i want out.....at least a little bit of freedom this summer

i think i ve vented enough...i really didnt think i needed to do that...i am in a good mood so i dont know where that came from oh well

im out

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 17:07:08 GMT

....*sigh*

i really dont know what to do anymore.....i honestly dont.....

all my friends are going downhill........life is so horrible for them and i dont know what to do. i ve tried everything in my will possible and i just dont know what to do. i try to help and i try to give them advice and be that shoulder to cry on but they always reject me and they dont want my help.....and i hate seeing them fall like that. i hate seeing them in so much pain and not being able to do anything.

i hate seeing the people i love crashing to the ground.....crying in pain and not being able to do anything about it.

why must life always go like this......my friends always say that they are here for me and i use them when i need them....but every single time that they are in pain...they never come to me...i cant ever do anything.....

and i cant keep seeing my friends dying inside like this....it tears me up inside.....i just cant do it anymore.